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Now That We Welded Your Lock Permanently Shut, Should We Sell Your Other Toys, Or Keep Them For Their Sentimental Value?

Now That We Welded Your Lock Permanently Shut, Should We Sell Your Other Toys, Or

The First Three Maids Make Their Appearance.

The First Three Maids Make Their Appearance.

She Looks Serious, Dude. Maybe You Should Spend Less Time On Looking At Her Dress And More Time Observing Her Angry Face.

She Looks Serious, Dude. Maybe You Should Spend Less Time On Looking At Her Dress

She’s Not A Serial Villain. Do You Seriously Think She’d Explain Her Masterstroke In Advance If There Remained The Slightest Chance Of You Affecting The Outcome?

She’s Not A Serial Villain. Do You Seriously Think She’d Explain Her Masterstroke

As In: Not The Prince Of Troy, But That Town In France With The Louvre And The Eiffel Tower.

As In: Not The Prince Of Troy, But That Town In France With The Louvre And The Eiffel

With Four Different Patterns On Their Skirts, It Almost Looks Like They Are Not Really Schoolgirls, But Some Models Posing As Schoolgirls.

With Four Different Patterns On Their Skirts, It Almost Looks Like They Are Not Really

The First Appearance Of The Beautiful Bianca Beauchamp. Fun Fact: Mrs Beauchamp Wanted To Become A Teacher And Was Just Modeling For Some Quick Canadian Bucks On The Side, But Her School Insisted That She Had To Decide Between Modeling And Teaching, Since

The First Appearance Of The Beautiful Bianca Beauchamp. Fun Fact: Mrs Beauchamp Wanted

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Misa Campo Inspired Me To A 17-Part Story.

Misa Campo Inspired Me To A 17-Part Story.

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What I Like About This Story Is How There Isn’t One Most Beautiful Woman, But Different Tastes And Different Preferences.

What I Like About This Story Is How There Isn’t One Most Beautiful Woman, But Different

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I Kind Of Suspect She’s Just Lying To Mess With Him.

I Kind Of Suspect She’s Just Lying To Mess With Him.

Don’t Worry, She Won’t Punish Him Too Harshly, After All, It’s Only His First Offense.

Don’t Worry, She Won’t Punish Him Too Harshly, After All, It’s Only His First

An Image With Bianca Beauchamp Looks Good Even If Her Breasts Are Nowhere To Be Seen.

An Image With Bianca Beauchamp Looks Good Even If Her Breasts Are Nowhere To Be Seen.

Aperture Science: We Do What We Must Because We Can.

Aperture Science: We Do What We Must Because We Can.

The First Appearance Of Denise Milano.

The First Appearance Of Denise Milano.

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If You Look Closely, This Lady Isn’t Reading A Grimoire, Just Some Poems.

If You Look Closely, This Lady Isn’t Reading A Grimoire, Just Some Poems.

Even If She Isn’t Some Trollop In A Chainmail Bikini, I Think She Looks Gorgeous. I’m Almost Tempted To Replace “Even If” With “Because” In The Previous Sentence, But Let’s Not Slut-Shame Trollops In Chainmail Bikinis: The World Is Big Enough

Even If She Isn’t Some Trollop In A Chainmail Bikini, I Think She Looks Gorgeous.

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She’s Alluding To A Previous Entry, “Dark Romanticism”.

She’s Alluding To A Previous Entry, “Dark Romanticism”.

I Like How This Obliquely Alludes To A Horrible Backstory. I Think It Works Because We’ve All Seen This Story Of A Young Couple, A Car Breakdown, A House In The Middle Of Nowhere, A Servant With A Hunchback Named Igor (Or Riff-Raff) Opens The Door…So,

I Like How This Obliquely Alludes To A Horrible Backstory. I Think It Works Because

In Case You’re Wondering, No, These Two Images Don’t Show The Same Woman; The First One Is Cheryl Cole, The Second One Deborah Straley. And Gamma Radiation Doesn’t Give You Superpowers. Unfortunately.

In Case You’re Wondering, No, These Two Images Don’t Show The Same Woman; The

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One Of My Personal Favorites; It Doesn’t Feature A Cruel Mistress Locking Up Her Slave For Life, But Is A Bit More Subtle, I Think. The Pretty Face Belongs To Rose Leslie.

One Of My Personal Favorites; It Doesn’t Feature A Cruel Mistress Locking Up Her

It’s A Nice Accidental Detail That Her Tattoo Has “Virtue” And “Honor”, Which I Didn’t Even Notice At First, But Kind Of Fit The Story.

It’s A Nice Accidental Detail That Her Tattoo Has “Virtue” And “Honor”,

She Seems Like A Nice Girl, She Does What You Tell Her…

She Seems Like A Nice Girl, She Does What You Tell Her…

Never Assume Things, Always Talk Them Through; In This Case, Fortunately Nothing Really Severe Happened, But Just Imagine If This Failure To Communicate Would Have Been About Something Important!

Never Assume Things, Always Talk Them Through; In This Case, Fortunately Nothing

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I Think She’s Making A Sound And Convincing Argument.

I Think She’s Making A Sound And Convincing Argument.

Poor Girl: It Must Be Tough To Be Afflicted With Such An Awfully Specific Fetish. I Hope Everything Turns Out Well For Her.

Poor Girl: It Must Be Tough To Be Afflicted With Such An Awfully Specific Fetish.

Jordan Carver Seems Like A Nice Girl: It Looks Like She Sincerely Wishes The Hero The Best Of Luck In Finding That Mysterious Masked Woman. But Somehow, I Doubt That He’ll Succeed.

Jordan Carver Seems Like A Nice Girl: It Looks Like She Sincerely Wishes The Hero

Maybe They Live On The Southern Hemisphere, And The Spring Equinox Festival Is In Autumn.

Maybe They Live On The Southern Hemisphere, And The Spring Equinox Festival Is In

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Ophelia Overdose Knows Just The Right Words To Console A Man In His Most Desperate Hour: Everything Can Be Made Better With Some Plush Cyclops.

Ophelia Overdose Knows Just The Right Words To Console A Man In His Most Desperate

I Guess It’s Obvious That Her Boyfriend Has No Say In The Matter, But Will She Accept The Challenge? And Will She Win?

I Guess It’s Obvious That Her Boyfriend Has No Say In The Matter, But Will She

I Hope It’s Obvious To Him, Too, And He Doesn’t Say Anything Wrong.

I Hope It’s Obvious To Him, Too, And He Doesn’t Say Anything Wrong.

People Have This Annoying Tendency To Define Absurd And Ever-Changing, Elusive Standards Of What Is And Isn’t Normal. You’ve Had Sex Too Early? You Slut! Still A Virgin? You Weirdo! There’s Only A Narrow Path Between Despicable Slut And Despicable

People Have This Annoying Tendency To Define Absurd And Ever-Changing, Elusive Standards

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I Like This One, I Guess It’s The Nonchalant Drop Of An Important Piece Information As A Mere Aside In The Last Two Lines.

I Like This One, I Guess It’s The Nonchalant Drop Of An Important Piece Information

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Admitted, There Is A Visible Panties Line, But I Never Quite Understood What’s So Horrible About That.

Admitted, There Is A Visible Panties Line, But I Never Quite Understood What’s

It Could Have Been Worse: At Least He Didn’t End Up As Part Of A Human Centipede For Not Reading The Contract He Was Agreeing To.

It Could Have Been Worse: At Least He Didn’t End Up As Part Of A Human Centipede

I Came Into This Game For The Action, The Excitement. Go Anywhere, Travel Light, Get In, Get Out, Wherever There’s Trouble, A Woman Alone.

I Came Into This Game For The Action, The Excitement. Go Anywhere, Travel Light,

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There Are A Lot Of Bridges In A Lot Of Different Towns With A Tradition That Lovers Attach A Lock And Throw The Key Into The River Beneath, The Hohenzollernbrücke In Köln (Cologne) Just Happens To Be The One Where I’ve First Seen A Railing On A Bridge

There Are A Lot Of Bridges In A Lot Of Different Towns With A Tradition That Lovers

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I Wonder What Have Happened To His Key; Who Could Have Taken It?

I Wonder What Have Happened To His Key; Who Could Have Taken It?

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